My Great Calling

"I feel called." Have you ever found yourself saying these words? That you feel called to something? You may not even know what it is, but you feel that you are being called. I found myself in this position not too long ago. I had recently returned home from Lake Ann Camp, where I had made a commitment to trust God's plan for my life and follow whatever path He had. This was the beginning of an amazing chapter in my life. After I made that commitment, I began to deeply think about how I might live out that trust, and I slowly began to feel a calling. As to what I felt I was being called to, I had absolutely no idea. God had already called me to trust in Jesus; He already called me to give up my worldly desires; He already called me to live humbly. So what could possibly be next?

I wrestled with this for a week or two, trying anxiously to identify where this call was taking me, and in general, trying to figure everything out. My mind was warring within me. Those two weeks were filled with amazing growth in God, but there still lingered some inner struggles within me. I voraciously sought to understand the call. One night, as I was on my way home, I finally came to a breaking point. I needed an answer from God; moreover I needed some sign of where He was taking me because I was helplessly lost in a vast sea of possibility and potential. At that point, it was about midnight and I spontaneously decided to drive out to Big Creek so that I could have some time alone with my God. When I arrived I walked down to the beach, completely alone, and became completely aware of His beautiful creation. It was a full moon that night, and the water was shimmering brightly with it's light. There was also a slight but soothing breeze rustling the leaves, and an endless expanse of space above, filled with hundreds of stars. I lost myself in that moment. I fell to my knees. I worshiped my God in the midst of His beautiful creation, and I realized something that I had realized weeks previously: God is in Control. His creation had lead me to that actualization. He clearly had a plan for this world, reaching from the creation to the climax when Jesus died on the cross. So surely He had a plan for my life! I was overcome with Joy in that moment. In the silence, I began to sing out a song that I hadn't yet fully grasped until that moment. The song was called Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) and at the bridge of the song it pleads "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith would be made stronger, in the presence of my savior."

From that night to now, that has been my plea. That God would "take me deeper than my feet could EVER wander." I know He has a plan, and I know that all I have to do is trust in that. I don't have to know exactly what I'm being called to. God will reveal that in HIS time. All I (or anyone reading this) have to know is that, above all, I'm called to a deeper relationship with my savior. One in which I seek His face each and every day and focus wholly on the cross. If I strive to live like that then I am confident He will slowly unravel His plan for me, one step at a time.